Friday, November 28, 2014

Dual Certification

Just thought I'd give a quick update that there isn't much to update :). We have decided to become dual certified through DHS just in case we receive an out of state placement (some states require DHS certification). So basically it's just to cover our bases and be legally prepared for more situations.We have also increased our age limit from 6 months to one year. That's about all that is new "on paper" but for anyone interested in some of my crazy thoughts along the way and lessons we are learning, read on...

We have settled comfortably into this waiting period and I think God is just starting to reveal the importance of the WAIT. I easily pictured the beginning of our adoption process and the end but I never really thought about the wait. You may have noticed that I changed the blog name, we are still going through Cherokee nation at this time but I am already beginning to see how many different directions this process may take us. Since my last post I have been made aware of 4 potential adoption situations. None of them even made it past "hey I heard about this baby..." but nonetheless they were times that made me freeze for a second and look to God asking 'Is this the one for us?' They were all very clearly not meant for us and for that I am thankful because the Lord knows how horrible I am at making decisions. I was however shocked at how much love I felt for each of these children that I literally knew nothing about. And I actually felt heartbroken for a little bit after realizing that they weren't for us. I know that will sound absolutely crazy to some of you (maybe all of you!). I wasn't heartbroken because we didn't get a child because truly our home and hearts are full to bursting right now and we don't feel rushed to just have another child. But learning even little details about these kids instantly attached them to my heart and it was the craziest thing to feel so much love in such a short amount of time. What this has taught me is that God has given me a heart that easily opens and loves and has pretty much erased any doubt that I will love number two as much as I love my Gentry bean. So...back to the waiting. We recently learned that it can take 2-4 years to get a newborn through the CN and even that is a long shot because priority is always given to couples with infertility. CN mostly deals with "deprived cases" where children are taken from the home versus a birth mom situation. So the chances of a newborn being taken that doesn't have older siblings is pretty slim. That is another reason we have decided to become DHS certified as well as increasing our age limit.
 I'm also learning that our 'comfort zone' is being stretched way outside what I expected. One of the children I mentioned above was from China and had a severe medical condition and another child was one I learned of through work who also had a medical disability. When we started out we both felt that international adoption and major disabilities were not something we were willing to look into. I'm definitely the more emotional one of the two of us and so I always use Jason as my 'compass' to gauge if I'm just having an emotional reaction to something. With both of these cases I just gave Jason the facts and asked how he felt about it. He had a lot of questions about each but ultimately was 100% on board. I am really surprised to see how easily our comfort zone could be stretched when we surrender it God. Again, none of these cases were in God's plan for our family but it definitely opened my eyes to a whole world of possibilities. I don't feel overly impatient with this process, mostly because most days I don't how I would manage with a newborn thrown in the mix. But I also want to use this waiting period for His Glory. He has promised that while we wait, He will strengthen us (Isaiah 40:31)- Strength for whatever is next, strength for a much longer wait than expected, strength for things I can't even imagine. I like this quote from Living Proof Ministries: "Most times, the waiting really isn't about the waiting, it's about becoming". I also found this song by John Waller called While I'm Waiting and the chorus is: While I'm waiting I will serve You; While I'm waiting I will worship; While I'm waiting I will not faint; I'll be running the race even while I wait. It gives a great sense of purpose to the waiting process which I love. For now we are settling into the waiting and continue to trust that when God does have a child for us that it will be undeniably clear.